Open Letters to KRXQ Sacramento

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Parents of Gender Non-Conforming Children Speak Out For Tolerance

Why we care about the KRXQ Sacramento transgender controversy

I’ve wrestling with the question of why these radio entertainers berating transgender kids would evoke such a firestorm of interest and controversy, when transphobia, homophobia, and derision for the families of gender-non-confroming children is such a staple of right wing radio.

It’s because Rob and Arnie got the joke so, so, horribly horribly wrong. The reason the joke defense isn’t working, is what they did wasn’t joking.

Howard Stern, at his most offensive and raucus, is telling a joke. A sexist, racist, homophobic joke—but a joke none the less. You may hate him, you may call the FCC, but Stern at his worst doesn’t do what Rob and Arnie did for that half hour.

Ron and Arnie were kicking someone when they were down.

If they had confined their hatred, their ire, for the parents of non-conforming youth, they would have  been on safe ground. When a kid screws up, it is the parents fault. Everyone knows this. There’s endless room for jokes in this situation; parodying the liberal moonbat parents. Maybe the kid even knows what he’s doing is wrong or stupid and wants to pull back from it, but now his parents are making him wear the dress. I could do improv on this for hours, and never ever do what Rob and Arnie did.

They laughed at children; they called them names like schoolyard bullies. They delighted in the idea that these children would suffer because their parents hadn’t gotten them the right therapy.

That’s it right there. If you don’t believe in transgender, if its all just something that a good therapist can root out and extinguish, then you might be angry at adult transgenders, for being too dumb or doctrinaire to seek treatment, but the only appropriate emotion to feel towards a boy in a dress is pity. And anger at the parent for letting the boy make the mistake.

Why be angry at the boy? If you think the transgender impulse isn’t real—it’s curable—where does the anger come from? Why hit the kid with a shoe? Hit the parent with the shoe. Why delight in the idea that the kid with the bad parents will suffer?

Why delight in the suffering of a child? Why?

Honestly, Rob and Arnie may not have even known what  they were doing. Giving voice to this deep seated fear, hatred, for the feminine. Hatred of gays focuses on the femme gay stereotype. Lesbians barely evoke a homophobic response in many self-described homophobes. The most homophobic men are also often sexists.

Underneath it all, is this just hatred of women? Hatred of the feminine? Are we angriest at the boy in the dress for discarding his male privilege?  Is all machismo a kind self-loathing? Is homophobic violence an out-directed manifestation of self-loathing for the feminine in us all?

We all carry the x chromosome. We all start out as women in the womb. (ever wonder why men have nipples?) The Y chromosome is a wizened, shrunken, napoleonic thing compared to the X.

The men who abuse the boy in the dress obviously are struggling with something. It’s something they need to work out with a therapist, in private, because our dialog with them doesn’t seem to be working. Had they been able to apologize, this circus wouldn’t have gotten this far.

Rob and Arnie didn’t get it, and still don’t get it.

Before this is over, though, they will.

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