Rob and Arnie Man Up, state intention to fully apologize; formal statement to be made on thursday

UPDATED JUNE 7TH, 2009, 11:50AM

TO OUR LOYAL ROB, ARNIE AND DAWN FOLLOWERS,

WE HAVE FAILED YOU. AS A SHOW, AS PEOPLE, AS BROADCASTERS, WE HAVE SIMPLY FAILED ON ALMOST EVERY LEVEL.

WE PRESENTED OUR OPINIONS ON A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT IN A HATEFUL, CHILDISH AND CRUDE FASHION; AND THEN, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO RETRACT THOSE REMARKS, WE DEFENDED THEM.

SINCE THEN, YOU, OUR LOYAL LISTENERS, HAVE MADE IT CLEAR TO US THAT WE WENT TOO FAR. THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN OVERWHELMING. NONE OF YOU SAID THAT WE COULDN’T HAVE OPINIONS, YET SO MANY OF YOU SAID THAT THE WAY WE GAVE THEM CROSSED THE LINE. FURTHER, YOU SAID THAT OUR ATTEMPT TO MASK OUR COMMENTS AS “JOKES THAT WOULD BE UNDERSTOOD BY OUR AUDIENCE,” WAS UNACCEPTABLE. I WOULD SAY NOW THAT IT WAS WORSE THAN THAT, IT WAS COWARDLY. YOU HAVE MADE THAT CLEAR.

WE HAVE REACHED OUT TO VARIOUS GROUPS AND ASKED FOR A CHANCE TO MAKE THIS RIGHT; TO RESPOND, WITH THEIR PARTICIPATION, TO THE EDUCATION THAT OUR AUDIENCE HAS PROVIDED US. THAT OPPORTUNITY HAS BEEN GRACIOUSLY GRANTED THIS THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE 11TH. AT 7:30 A.M.

THE WORD APOLOGY APPEARS NO WHERE IN THIS LETTER FOR A REASON. WE ALREADY HID FROM DOING THE RIGHT THING ONCE AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. APOLOGIZING IN A WRITTEN, POSTED STATEMENT IS A FORM OF COWARDICE. WE WILL SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID THIS THURSDAY.

ON A FINAL, PERSONAL NOTE, AS THE LEADER AND OWNER OF THE SHOW, I HAVE MADE THE DECISION THAT WE NEED TO REFRAIN FROM BROADCASTING NEW EPISODES UNTIL WE CAN ADDRESS THIS ON THURSDAY .  WE WILL RETURN TO THE AIR AT 7:30 A.M. JUNE 11TH.

ROB WILLIAMS
ROB, ARNIE AND DAWN

Filed under: KRXQ Responds to Controversy, Uncategorized

Why we care about the KRXQ Sacramento transgender controversy

I’ve wrestling with the question of why these radio entertainers berating transgender kids would evoke such a firestorm of interest and controversy, when transphobia, homophobia, and derision for the families of gender-non-confroming children is such a staple of right wing radio.

It’s because Rob and Arnie got the joke so, so, horribly horribly wrong. The reason the joke defense isn’t working, is what they did wasn’t joking.

Howard Stern, at his most offensive and raucus, is telling a joke. A sexist, racist, homophobic joke—but a joke none the less. You may hate him, you may call the FCC, but Stern at his worst doesn’t do what Rob and Arnie did for that half hour.

Ron and Arnie were kicking someone when they were down.

If they had confined their hatred, their ire, for the parents of non-conforming youth, they would have  been on safe ground. When a kid screws up, it is the parents fault. Everyone knows this. There’s endless room for jokes in this situation; parodying the liberal moonbat parents. Maybe the kid even knows what he’s doing is wrong or stupid and wants to pull back from it, but now his parents are making him wear the dress. I could do improv on this for hours, and never ever do what Rob and Arnie did.

They laughed at children; they called them names like schoolyard bullies. They delighted in the idea that these children would suffer because their parents hadn’t gotten them the right therapy.

That’s it right there. If you don’t believe in transgender, if its all just something that a good therapist can root out and extinguish, then you might be angry at adult transgenders, for being too dumb or doctrinaire to seek treatment, but the only appropriate emotion to feel towards a boy in a dress is pity. And anger at the parent for letting the boy make the mistake.

Why be angry at the boy? If you think the transgender impulse isn’t real—it’s curable—where does the anger come from? Why hit the kid with a shoe? Hit the parent with the shoe. Why delight in the idea that the kid with the bad parents will suffer?

Why delight in the suffering of a child? Why?

Honestly, Rob and Arnie may not have even known what  they were doing. Giving voice to this deep seated fear, hatred, for the feminine. Hatred of gays focuses on the femme gay stereotype. Lesbians barely evoke a homophobic response in many self-described homophobes. The most homophobic men are also often sexists.

Underneath it all, is this just hatred of women? Hatred of the feminine? Are we angriest at the boy in the dress for discarding his male privilege?  Is all machismo a kind self-loathing? Is homophobic violence an out-directed manifestation of self-loathing for the feminine in us all?

We all carry the x chromosome. We all start out as women in the womb. (ever wonder why men have nipples?) The Y chromosome is a wizened, shrunken, napoleonic thing compared to the X.

The men who abuse the boy in the dress obviously are struggling with something. It’s something they need to work out with a therapist, in private, because our dialog with them doesn’t seem to be working. Had they been able to apologize, this circus wouldn’t have gotten this far.

Rob and Arnie didn’t get it, and still don’t get it.

Before this is over, though, they will.

Filed under: Uncategorized

From a Concerned Abuela

Dear Rob and Arnie,

I just moved to CA to be near my daughter and grandchildren.  I am sad about the state budgetary problems, but I am much sadder about the nature of your recent radio broadcast.

My beloved grandson, age seven, has known he was a girl in a boy’s body ever since he was two years old.  He’s not a freak, an idiot, or a dumbass.  You may think he’s weird, but he’s not abnormal..  He is funny, kind, sensitive and, by the way, a natural athlete (although he prefers gymnastics and dancing to soccer).

This was the first year of teaching for his young first grade teacher.  Before this year, she knew nothing about gender variant children, but she observed my grandson, got to know him, and ultimately could see that he is, indeed, a girl trapped in a boy’s body.  She made it a point to educate herself and to help his classmates understand him.  The state of CA can be proud to have this young, caring woman teaching our children.

The state of CA, however, should be wary of what the type of attitudes exhibited on your recent broadcast is teaching your more susceptible listeners.  Some of these gender variant children may, indeed, end up in therapy to help them deal with the lack of acceptance and even outright abuse they receive.  Worse, some of them will even end up dead at the hands of someone who shares your expressed attitudes. 

I’m reminded of the Rodgers and Hammerstein song from South Pacific, You’ve Got to be Carefully Taught.

        You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear

        You’ve got to be taught from year to year

        It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear

        You’ve got to be carefully taught

 

        You’ve got to be taught to be afraid

        Of people whose eyes are oddly made

        And people whose skin is a different shade

        You’ve got to be carefully taught

 

        You’ve got to be taught before it’s too late

        Before you are six or seven or eight

        To hate all the people your relatives hate

        You’ve got to be carefully taught

        You’ve got to be carefully taught

Thank you, Dawn, for trying to stand up to your co-hosts’ verbal attacks on innocent children.

Abuela    

Filed under: Uncategorized

From a Volunteer who Works with Children

Dear John, Arnie, Rob, and Dawn:

Once a month, I volunteer with a group of children who love pink, Polly Pockets, Bratz dolls, and many other girls’ toys and activities.  These kids put on fashion shows, make forts with decorative scarves, dress up in princess gowns, engage in catty repartee, and debate the talents and abilities of Hannah Montana and Britney Spears.  They range in age from five to twelve, and they adore these gatherings.

These kids are also all boys.

None of them was raised by parents who encouraged their infants to like toys and activities that we traditionally associate with girls.  All of them have parents who initially struggled (and still struggle) with what it means to nurture a child who so clearly doesn’t conform to our culture’s gender norms.  But these parents come monthly to a group that encourages them not to change their children but to support them on their journey through life as non-traditional boys.

Some of these kids will undoubtedly grow up to identify as transgendered (and, consequently, “boy” is not really an accurate description of them even now).  A few will eventually identify as heterosexual men, some of whom will remain feminine.  Perhaps most of them, though, will come out as gay or bisexual.  

But the truth of the matter is that none of us will know how these kids – or their masculine girl counterparts – see themselves until they are old enough to let us know in their own words.  Indeed, many of them have yet to place a label on their sexual orientation or gender identity.  These boys are merely being as true to themselves as are feminine women and girls.

And while many of them are too young to understand, their parents grasp the risks that their children face:  harassment at school, violence on the street, ostracism from their religious communities, isolation from extended family, sexual assault in social situations, and possibly even death at their own or others’ hands.

Knowing these possibilities terrifies me as well.

I do not want these children to grow up in a world where adults demand that they deny their gender identities so they can conform to what someone else sees as appropriate for boys.  I do not want these kids to be damaged by their parents’ criticism of their gender expression, for those children who live in homes without parental support are at greater risk for depression, substance abuse, dropping out of school, self-mutilation, and suicide.  If these boys get harassed or assaulted, i want the blame to go squarely where it belongs:  on their assailants and their homophobia and transphobia.  No matter what happens, an attack will never, ever be the responsibility of these kids, just as it is never the fault of someone who survives a gay bashing or a sexual assault.

I want these children to be able to live – now and as they grow up – as themselves, not as someone else’s vision of what those selves should be.  I want them to live in a world that is as free from transphobia as parents want their kids to live in a world that is free of bullying.  A world that doesn’t see femininity as inferior to masculinity.  A world where adults take these kids and their gender expressions as seriously as they take girls’ femininity and boys’ masculinity.

As an adult, I can write and use words in a way that is not yet possible for these kids.  As a feminist, I cannot remain silent seeing gender stereotypes wielded as a weapon to limit another person’s happiness.  As a long-time volunteer with children, I cannot bear to see members of our community, no matter how young, ostracized and unappreciated.  As a part of the lesbian/gay/bisexual/transgender community, it pains me to see homophobia and transphobia perpetuated through the lives of those who are so small.  And as a human being, it hurts me to know that these children don’t receive unconditional love and celebration of who they are from everyone in their lives.

Whatever they do – dance to “The Nutcracker”, sings songs from “High School Musical” (1 and 2!), dream about having a boyfriend, make up skits where they all play girl roles, or wear wigs and heels – i want the children with whom i volunteer never to worry that someone may hurt them for being their wonderful, beautiful, fabulous, feminine selves.

Dawn, thank you for your pointing out the potential violence that these children face. Arnie and Rob, yhank you for considering these children — their actual lives, feelings, and experiences, and those of their families — before dehumanizing them in the future.

Sincerely,
  Shannon E. Wyss
  Washington, DC

Filed under: Uncategorized